music and activism

music and activism

a few months ago, i went to Detroit for a women only meeting about how to stop sexual assault in the local music scenes. we met at a rock/punk bar called Smalls. it’s owned by two women, and both were there. lots of age ranges were represented in the crowd; there were some Brown and Black womyn, and some white womyn. we need more diversity at these things because different music scenes have different customs and behaviors sometimes, and womyn who face racism and sexism inform social change in much more universal ways. which is to say that white womyn are doing a poor job communicating with womyn of color, as per usual. 

i love it when Cardi B says, "You make me sick." 

and all i am is just another white face in the crew, too. so we're all doin a shit job, hoes. anyway, i'm reporting:

a team of two white womyn was leading the night, from a homeless shelter for women and children. they defined the differences between rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment. at one point, we all stood up and had to stand in a part of the room in answer to their questions. on the left if you agree. middle if you’re not sure. right if you disagree. one question was more of a statement. something like, alcohol is helpful for relaxing people to have sex. i walked beeline for the DISAGREE side while literally every other woman quickly left that part of the room and chose one of the two others. literally. how many people are alcoholics? and then how many people enable alcoholism? these young womyn and older womyn all supporting the idea that sex is shameful and scary and you need booze to do it. it’s like culture never changes! i'm incensed. 

so, after some discussion from the other two sides, they asked me to say why i disagree. i tried to express some kind of idea about how womyn should love ourselves enough to expect the person trying to get with us to work harder, not rely on alcohol that clouds our judgement. and since there were no myn there, no one explained how myn plan to end rape. what else can womyn do but figure out how to protect and defend ourselves, and each other? you don't need booze to fuck. you just need to want to fuck, to fuck. and if you don't, then you shouldn't. i didn’t want to shame the womyn there at all. we all have different lives, and activists need to work together. but i did try to be the mom without being everybody’s mom. it felt good to stand alone and stay where i was and then coherently explain my stance. and it also felt good to speak from the position of a slightly older womxn who has been married, has children, divorced, and then had more dating and relationships as an adult. it gives me my unique perspective. and i speak from a position that is anti racism, and not homophobic or transphobic. michigan is so conservative and bigot ripe. it’s harmful to people. more older womyn need to be talking to more younger womyn about sex and relationships and dating and safety. 

physics is like pretty much everything

physics is like pretty much everything