money does not equal good health/but lack of money often equals stressbadhealth

money does not equal good health/but lack of money often equals stressbadhealth

things i do fer myself
because i dont got no goddamn
dollerz fer a therpst:

i delete rando friend requests
from rando dudes

i do not say thank you
too many times
i definitely no longer say sorry
too many times

i talk to myself
it helps process shit
fuck a therpst
that may or may not know about shit
or know how to do shit
so many doctors and healers
are racist
sexist
sex shaming
slut shaming
anything differnt from a cis-gendered perspective
not helpful

feel proud and pleased
when womxzn share their thoughts and feelings
when womxyn say, i cant do everything
this is not possible

mxxn expect us to be able to do everything
other womxyn expect us to be able to do everything
we expect ourselves to be able to do everything
its wyrd

use the legit as fuck weed medicine
for my anxiety
i got anxiety
i feel like thats whats goin on
i had seasonal depression for the first time ever this winter whatthefuckisthatactualshit
oh my god
so other shit i try ta do fer myself
is try ta eat healthy
except when i dont
and i try to do it infrequently and without shame
like last night
i super enjoyed my plate of really good garlic fries
with hot sauce and ketchup
and a beer at a spot while i edited this piece a shit article that i hate super a lot
and started a new, yet again, application for food assistance from the state
because i renewed it properly at the end of may
and no of course you dont have my application
in yr bullshit
my bridges online netwrk system

anywaytoday, im super into these wheat berries, kamut berries, and some other kinda grain berry that i dont recall what it is, that i cooked yesterday, that i mixed today in my bowl cold with oat milk cauz that cow milk i dont like it, and date molasses that is super good, and local honey, cauz if its not local its not given you natural immunity

i do not know how to get or make or find or encounter
dollerz
at all in life
i do not know how to get the money
i know how to grow babies
i know how to cook
i know how to grow some of the food
i know how to raise babies
i know how to make coffee
i know how to be a ethnographer and observe the fuck out of people
i know how to write
i know how to teach
i know how to listen to music
i know how to love music
i know how to love people
i do not know how to get the money
what the fuck is that shit

i hate the money, though, for fucking real
my dad got the money real good
and my dad is my abuser
my mom wanted the money real good
and my mom is my abuser
almost all the money around us
goes to bad
so i hate the money, though, like for fucking real

i dont know what the fuck to do about that shit
so i keep working for duckets
at jobs where i have enough time and energy to be a good mom and writer
ive werkt at jobz where i dont and i wont no longer

thingz i do fer myself
i use the online fer readin
like about psychological issues
all sorts
about relationships romantic friendships
about not havin any a that shit goddamn
and if you dont have that shit you cant force that shit
some daze i hate everyone around me and iman island of myself

some daze i wonder if everyman on the globe
was taught by their mommies or their daddies
their daddies or their mommies
to stop cryin stop whynin dont be a baby
dont have no emotions cept the angry ones
you can have the angry ones
but boys, bois, men, myn, mxxzn, dont have those sad emotions, and cant barely have those happy emotions either, cauz if you dont face the sad, theres never gonna be glad

i do the yoga
i do the tennis balls massage along my spine
i lay on two tennis balls
one on either side of my spine
on a yoga mat
and roll them either up or down my back
its a son of a bitch
especially if you use only one fer the side with all the tension
ohmygod
im not payin anybody to touch my body right now
im not payin nobody to touch my whole entire thing right now
i dont have money fer payin anybody to touch my body right now
but im not payin fer any rando to be touchin massagin my body
i dont like that shit

so i tennis ball that shit
things i do fer myself

dark eydea

dark eydea

MOODYMANN

MOODYMANN