death and being alive

death and being alive

i trust alternative healthcare information more than most people in the united states, in my experience. so i'm going to write about what i do for my body with the intention that if you want to, you can do it, too. and i've been researching and studying alternative healthcare with the help of a few very smart, very strong female mentors for most of my life. 

my dad is a doctor of western medicine, but he taught me to question and challenge most everything, so i do. and western medicine is one of the primary things in my life that i disrespect on a daily basis. i hate my dad. he was my abuser. just gotta get that in there lest you might think that i respect or love or honor my dad in any way. he's a terrible, whiny, mediocre white man who has fucked up many peoples' lives. 

i read a dumb article via the facebooks today about how juicing is a dumb fad and yr just drinking sugar water and paying a lot of money for it. well sure you are, if you strain out all the fiber and don't make it at home, genius. the author told readers to just use your teeth and chew a bunch of carrots everyday. that guy can fuck off. the article probably got a lot of readers, too. so even more people are like, yeah, just another fad, i'm gonna keep bein unhealthy because juice is dumb. let's go eat some fries. 

hey, smart guy, if you don't strain out all the fiber, if you just throw all yr shit in a good blender and drink it like that, then you don't have to chew a buncha carrots. 

my juice today (i'm privileged enough to have a vitamix that i bought down at the whole foods when i worked down at the whole foods; they did this one thing this one time where they gave employees a 40% discount, one year it was for a whole week, the next year it was for one day, then they stopped doin it, money loser; so i bought a fucking vitamix for 40% off. that was boss), my juice today held a third of an aloe leaf, three overripe bananas, michigan tart cherries, mango, blueberries, dandelion greens, coconut oil, and enough water to make it not juice that you chew. i've made juice that you chew before. i gulp it down, but it's not fun. i don't like bananas. i like dandelion greens, but not that often. and i don't always want to chew all that shit individually. put it all together and make it complete. it tastes way better all blended together. bananas, mango, and coconut oil are the three items that help blend all the other ingredients together. i don't always put all three into my juice (and i do drink this shit everyday), but if you want creamy juice that you don't have to gulp down, those are the ingredients that do it best. 

i do not like to take pills. i've tried chinese herbs that my acupuncturist suggested. i don't see one regularly. but acupuncture is pretty righteous. with chinese herbs, you gotta take so many little pills three times a day, and i didn't find much relief. that doesn't mean i think chinese herbs aren't effective, they're great. but i just didn't have success with them at that time in my life. i do not like to take pills. but i've discovered that i need b vitamins daily and i need help for my adrenal glands. so i've started taking supplements daily to help with those needs. i've seen a big difference in the problems i was having. nightly night sweats was one of them. that shit can eat a dick. it's awful. drench your clothes. wake up. get up. change. maybe go back to sleep, but it's unlikely. and then, when you get to sleep again, the same thing happens. fuck that shit. gaia herbs adrenal support supplements (gaia farms is the shit, they grow boss shit in boss ways, and their science is real) have changed my motherfucking life. it's a recent development, but i've now dedicated myself to investing $40 a month to two adrenal supplements with herbs and mushrooms and shit and it's great. 

my body is a machine and i'm going to do what i can to keep it running well for a long time. i'm going to be forty this august. i'm into it. i've never been one to lie about my age, hide my age, or fear death. so i'm ready for forty because it's not even halfway to death. i've done the things where you grow up, date some people, get a college education, get pregnant, have babies, get more college education, get married, get divorced, date some more people, work weird jobs, make new friends as an adult, do some other stuff. i've done those things. i'm pleased with my life experiences so far. 

so far.

i'm not even halfway. and if i peace out before i turn ninety or one hundred, then it will be my time, and my kids will be ready to survive without me. that's how i think about it. i'm not going to die until my boys can survive and thrive without me. so when i die, that means they're ready. 

i spent last year getting angrier than i already was, angrier about white supremacy, racism, sexism, homophobia, ablism, transphobia, and my anger was not serving me well. my anger was not serving my family well. anger is real, but it's just one emotion of many. united states politics is like a movie. it's like we're watching characters in a not entertaining movie. i know it's real, whatever that means. but it's like playtime for these motherfuckers. it's like tramp stamp (our fucking bitch ass dumb as fuck "president") is a master of the law of attraction and he used his thoughts (thoughts become things) to get where he is today. but the law of attraction also means that whatever energy we put out into the world comes back to us. in some parts of the world, they call it karma. i'm just waiting for that shit to go down. for tramp stamp to get what's coming to him. for white people to get what's coming to them. that might mean that we have war on our soil. most of us have no idea what that's like. i'm gleaming white, i'll take it as it comes. i put a nice sized Black Lives Matter sticker on the front of my house (obvs not the only thing i do to crush white supremacy). what i mean to say is my place in the world is my own and i'm not defined by white racists. i'm pleased with myself and will take what's coming to me. honkeys are racist as fuck on a mass level and tramp stamp is just making things more obvious so now white people are like, oh shit, what side do i want to be on. although, most of the white men in my daily world are unaffected and don't do shit to change anything. still. 

white men are unaffected by our current "presidency." 

white men are unaffected. 

maybe people in your lives are affected, like women and people of color. but you're not. 

are you hearing me motherfuckers?

white men do not face racism or sexism.

all you gotta do is think about it for a second, white men, and then you'll figure out, finally, that it's your fucking job more than anyone else's to turn this shit around. 

this went in a different direction than i intended. that's why i love writing for myself on my own forum because i write what i like in the ways that i like. 

take care of yourselves, unless you're racist and/or sexist, then fuck off and die sooner than expected. 





losing power

losing power

undefining myself

undefining myself