this one time, i worked way too hard for the corporate patriarchy

this one time, i worked way too hard for the corporate patriarchy

when i was writing my dissertation and getting a divorce at the same time in 2011, i got a part time cashier job down at the whole foods in ann arbor. prior to that, i was writing my dissertation and homeschooling my children and being unhappily married. so i got that job so i could end my marriage and move forward. and i've always worked my ass off and been passionate about whatever i do, so they liked me down at the whole foods. once i realized that academic jobs were even fewer and farther between than i thought, i went full time down at the whole foods in 2012. then i decided that i might as well make as much money as i possibly could down at the whole foods, so i became a supervisor down at the whole foods. they teach you real good how to be a manager down at the whole foods, and they teach you real good about food down at the whole foods. and if you want to learn even more than the basic requirements, they keep teaching you real good. i kinda liked the work because i felt stuck and i made myself find joys in little things, like numbers. if something costs 59 cents and whatever dollars, you give back one of each coin. i liked that. whenever something cost 808 or 505 or 303, i liked that. as a cashier, you have to memorize a lot of numbers, produce codes. you take produce tests to make sure you know the numbers and can identify the produce items because they want you to know food and they want you to work fast. and they opened a store in detroit during that time, so i got to talk real bold to the racist, bougie ann arbor customers who were afraid a detroit. 

then, i got another promotion, tryin ta make as much money as i could down at the whole foods. it was in west bloomfield, so i had some driving to do. fuckin 275 can eat a dick. and i didn't even really have to drive rush hour times all that much because i was either workin real early or workin real late. then, my friend, who was the produce team leader over there for about five minutes decided that he didn't like it and quit. he told me he was leaving because he was my friend. my first thought was, dang dude! my second thought was, i want your job. so i told him that, and he taught me the basics about how to do his job, and he helped me get his job. i didn't know shit about runnin a produce department, but i did know lotsa shit about fixin a broke department thanks to that first west bloomfield promotion down at the whole foods. i also didn't know shit about runnin a "perishable team," which means a team that has to take into account spoilage of product. PRODUCE GOES BAD QUICK AS FUCK. but down at the whole foods, they sometimes take risks on people that don't fit the mold. and down at the whole foods, they sometimes give you a mini economics degree if you prove to them that you can handle it. but how long can you fake it til you make it? four and a half years apparently, because after tryin ta fix that broke ass produce department for a year and a half, i stopped givin a fuck in early 2016. i hated that job and i worked the shit outta that job. it took me away from my kids too much and it stressed me out too motherfuckin much. 

so this one time, after hosting a small easter meal with my mom and step-dad at my vigilante ypsilanti home, we made ukrainian and romanian dishes, i got to work at 5:08 in the AM and didn't clock in cause i was pissed at bein late. 5:07 in the AM and i woulda been fine. but fuckin 5:08 in the AM, i'm a fuckin baby who needs mommies and daddies to keep watch down at the whole foods, 5:08 in the AM, and i get a half point. i didn't even have too many attendance points to be at risk, but i was in charge a my broke ass department, and i was fixin my broke ass department, and i gotta worry about attendance points? fuck that shit all day long. so i wrote down 5 AM on the paper time sheet you use if you "forget" to clock in. i don't know why, except i was pissed and tired a seeing mediocre men with my same job in other departments get their dick sucked by the bosses while i still had to bow down. 

so a few days later, i got fired. 

i hated that job. i cared about that job. i gave a shit about that job. but i was done with that job. i'm glad i got fired. do you know, this one time, before i got fired, the manager of the store didn't understand numbers and math? we had to explain numbers and math all the time. i liked this part of my job because numbers and math. how much did you spend bringin in that produce? how much did you make movin that produce? why is it swingin in the wrong direction, team leader? well, store team leader, because we're not gonna NOT sell organic strawberries, so we gotta buy em at whatever price they set. and we gotta sell em at the giant sale price. so here's the math. here's why we lost dollarz. 

motherfucker was like, i understand the numbers, denise, but why are you overpurchased for the week? 

and i was barely polite. i barely changed the words in my explanation. we fuckin spent more on something that we have to have a large presence of than we brought back in. all the time, thinkin, you dumb ass motherfucker. yr dumb.

motherfucker never worked in a produce department before. motherfucker stocked conventional produce in an organic space when he was tryin ta help out, so he gave us more work to do to sanitize that shit and rebuild both CV and OG displays. this one time.

and he was a white man, so he was like, oops. shrug. and everything was fine.

and that little dumb bitch is in charge of a fucking store.

corporations, man, corporations


whole foods is a company, a corporation, run and organized from a man's perspective

if you don't talk like em and act like em, yr fucked

and they're too dumb to see it, and i'm way too tired of tryin ta explain it

and the whole foods is planning on setting up shop in bloomington, indiana

where we already have a great co-op

called Bloomingfoods

isn't that shit the fucking cutest shit!

Bloomingfoods is surviving and sometimes even thriving

they've got multiple locations

and have tried multiple business models

this one time they had a restaurant that hosted music events, including ethnomusicology students playin music and shit

and I remember bumping into Majid and Fatmah down at the Bloomingfoods after we were done with our coursework and didn't see one another that much. they were from Oman. i didn't know them that well, but Fatmah had a baby while Majid was getting his Ph.D., so Fatmah and me had some things in common. i liked them.


i'm a witch. i like to learn about tarot, but i don't know about tarot. but i do have these beautiful goddess cards that my mom gave to me as a gift when i was a teenager or in college or some shit. they have goddess art on one side, and words about that goddess on the other side. they're mostly western/european deities, but some of em are indigenous to other parts of the world. this one explains that the goddess, mother of all, is someone to whom you can confess all your wrongs with the utmost honesty and you face absolution. i grew up catholic, so this shit is not too far off for me. oh yeah, catholics and christians stole from witches and pagans while they were torturing and murdering them, so it's likely that this confess your sins shit is old as fuck. i imagine myself doing this in my daily life. i don't tell many personal things to personal people lately because most of the personal people i've chosen to be vulnerable with were not safe people. but fuck it, here i am tellin all my thoughts and feelings, i have so many thoughts and feelings, to some random public entity. not many people read my writing here and i don't know who reads my writing because most people don't tell you that shit. so i'm confessing my thoughts and feelings to people with eyes. 


2016 was my stoner year

2016 was my stoner year

Too Old To Give A Fuck And It's Fucking Great

Too Old To Give A Fuck And It's Fucking Great