Kitchen Work Is Warm Work

Kitchen Work Is Warm Work

kitchen work is warm work
how do you write about loving your kids
and loving our home
in a way that's not been said before

how do you get simple
some days, i'm the biggest simpleton
i try hard to be a simpleton
life goalz
last year was a complex year
with complex plans
that didn't go according to plan

i wash dishes and serve people at my job
and i come home and clean and cook
and it's not the same
it's different work

last night
i cleaned
put an easy meal on the stove
went to the other room to reassemble an old bed
for my son
we went from a three bedroom house to a four
last night

two boys sharin a room
is now no boys sharin a room
it's as simple as a giant energy shift

in the middle of reassembling that bed
i came back in the kitchen
and the warm kitchen work that i did
was still bubbling
and filling that kitchen
so that when the four of us and the dog
came in to eat
the dog eats after, but still
when the four of us and the dog came in
we would feel that love that i set out for us

it's not always in the words or direct deeds
it's often in the in betweens

my littlest boy and i can mind meld
we think things together
things that might look like coincidences
are not
we think things together
i don't get it all the way
i'm a simpleton
but i think it's cool
so my brain opens up to it
and there's possibilities

my other guys and i can do it
it's just different

how do you write about your kids
in a way that's not been done before
i'm healing my health
so i can live a long time
makin sure that my boys will live a long time
i put them on this earth
i better damn well make sure they do a good job
when i'm gone

i'm boosting my health
because i was depleted
from ignoring my health
i make acid water, with lemons
the alkaline reaction happens internally
when you drink it
i forgot and actually tested the lemon water
for its base levels
i was like, what the fuck
why's it orange
oh right, i'm a simpleton
that was eight days ago
now my ph strips show me
that my body is off the charts
or at least it's past 7.5 ph on the ph strip color chart
i'm alkaline as fuck

extreme stress makes me not eat
i look at my life history
as shit that i did that now i learn from
so my mistakes are just shit that i did
that i do different now
so now i'm gaining poundage
and it's stressing me
and i hate that it's stressing me
because i'm not a fucking little baby girl who wants to be a skinny little baby girl
so i'm looking at my life histories
to figure out my trends and rhythms
so i can do better
so i can lose my ego
all the way

all the way mae wants to lose her ego
i am not more important than you
fuck what if
the future does not exist
and the past doesn't anymore either

i feel stuck in a couple different kinds of work
that i don't want to be doing anymore
so i'm trying to be soft about it
and that's hard as fuck
because i'm pissed
but i'm trying to be soft about it
so i can learn once and for all
what i'm supposed to be learnin
here
so that i don't have to learn it anymore
and i don't want to learn the hard way anymore

so i put chamomile flowers in my bath the other night
and lavender buds and calendula petals
they were so pretty and sweet smelling
that i scooped them up and put them on the inside corner of the tub
they look like a swarm of bees
they look like all the honey bees
who somehow are going to keep pollinating the earth

it's strange to empty out your life
that's what i've done
i don't welcome many adults into my home right now
hardly any
i'm seeing the weird feeling effects in my body
there is no mind body split, assholes
i see the imbalances that i used to engage
i see what i am without those imbalances
still off balance
but better
i'm closer to being me
who, when my ego is gone, will be as simple as a multidirectional flow of energy

facing every day without a plan
just do shit
encounter shit
make shit better

 

 

That's Some Beautiful Art In Detroit

That's Some Beautiful Art In Detroit

other skills

other skills