shit i'm grateful for

shit i'm grateful for

not in order of priority or value to me
just in order of how i thought this shit up

i'm listening to a husband & wife record right now
they are from bloomington, indiana
where i studied ethnomusicology
and where i started my family
my kids were born there
husband & wife played in ypsilanti a number of years ago
for a few years, there was this cool music venue
called woodruffs
part of ypsilanti was once called Woodruff's Grove
for a few years, we had a cool music venue

my grandfather
my grandfather and i were friends on facebook
he died last february 25th
today is his birthday
when he had a body
and lived on the earth
facebook reminded me
he didn't do too much on facebook
but he did show me he loved me
on facebook
and i showed him i loved him
on facebook

acupressure and acupuncture
i'm grateful that my grampa taught me about the ho ku point on my hands
acupuncture and acupressure help me heal myself

coffee is medicine
coffee satisfies the bitter taste
in ayurvedic medicine
there are six tastes in ayurvedic medicine
tumeric is also in this category
lately, i want to make golden milk with my morning espresso
but i also don't want to taste anything with my morning espresso
except my morning espresso
so i don't pour my espresso into the coconut milk with golden paste
golden paste is the most efficient way to absorb turmeric's benefits
turmeric cannot do it's anti-inflammatory duties without the presence of heat, coconut oil, and black pepper
that is golden paste
maybe after i drink my first morning aeropress espresso tomorrow
i'll make a second one and give it up to the golden milk

my home
that i own
even though i'm having a hard time figuring out how to continue to pay for it right now
my home
that i own

my health
i have it

my kids

my kids who i can take out to dinner in my town
and we can have a great time together
i keep seeing other people's kids
act like they've never had home training
out in my world
not anybody in particular
just other people's kids
i love my kids
i know they've got good home training
and when i get home from work, or just when i come home
they come and greet me at the door
with hugs
my fourteen year old son stops what he's doing to come and give me a hug
he doesn't always tell me he loves me when i tell him i love him
but sometimes my fourteen year old son tells me he loves me

my ability to disrupt shit
just by being me
i see it on a daily basis lately
and i love it

i'm grateful for detroit

i know myself better than i ever have
that means i'm a hell of an introvert
that also means that i am fiercely self-reliant
and i'm a feminist home owner so i'm getting better and better and fixing my own shit
even minor electrical and plumbing shit
which i'm proud of because i'm teaching myself

but my self-reliance doesn't mean i want to be a solitary human for the rest of my life
i'm no longer desperate for a man
i used to choose mediocre men over no men
and i'm a heterosexual cis gendered woman
i've considered dating women, but then i talk to women, and i'm like, you actually date us??
i've considered dating trans men
but i love male bodies enough to maintain that preference
so i talk about loving men
in ways that i don't love women
i'm not desperate for a man
but i'm not a solitary human
i would certainly love a bisexual man
i hold no discomfort in that

and i've dated enough men
in enough ways
that partnership is what i'm into now
so i don't date
because most men
aren't good enough to be my partner

shit i'm grateful for
i'm 39 and i keep getting smarter and healthier
getting older is not an automatic decline
even though everyone else around seems to display that it is

and now i'm listening to a LaLa record



Blanche is a real bitch.

Blanche is a real bitch.

I Just Got On My High Horse, And I Want to Learn Arabic

I Just Got On My High Horse, And I Want to Learn Arabic