when you get older, you realize you got stories

when you get older, you realize you got stories

Poem first, other words after.

Why I Know My Path Is Right 

sage is the expectorant
ginger is the anti-inflammatory
echinacea is the anti-bacterial
astralgus is the anti-viral

the earth grows what we need to maintain our machines,
and yet you pump yourselves full of poison and call it food and western medicine

those four plants are just a selection of what the earth offers,
you might not be able to distance yourselves from western medicine, but so far, i'm havin a healthy life. keep doubtin. keep tellin us that yr flu shot is better than regular old plants

my sage is still green, in michigan, in winter, and it will come back full force in the spring. and i've been buildin up my soil so that i can continue to plant and grow more medicine every year.

trump obliterates the government, including those in charge of nuclear weapons, to fill it with nepotism. that's how i know my self-sufficiency is on the right track. cauz as other countries who know war way better than us watch this country get weaker and weaker, i continue to release my dependence on yr dumb systems.


Other Words

If you're offended by me saying this is the right path, then you need to get the fuck off. GTFO, they call it. My life philosophy includes this idea:

Just because you think something, doesn't mean I do. Just because you speak hard about something, doesn't mean I have to be soft or quiet or gentle when I speak. I don't fuck with the flu shot because it's a crapshoot. There's at least one new version of the flu virus every year and the flu shot is based on what it might look like. Good luck with that bullshit. You want me to trust your maybe medicine? It's also the same medicine that prescribes steroids everyday for we don't really know what's going on, but this poison might help. I took steroids for three days last winter and now the last image my dying maternal grandfather has of me (we were separated by a lot of miles and a country border) is of my bloated fuckface. I took a video telling him how much I loved him. I knew I was saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye because I knew my mom and other female relatives would see it, too. Yr maybe medicine is based on poison. I will never be on that shit again. Know why I'm cool with that? Cauz if I ever get the cancer, we got the weed. 

I'll use and abuse you for your xrays and your bone control caus I got kids, and kids break bones. And I got doctor friends who post videos on the youtubes about how to do stitches. I took my boy once to the doctor to do the stitches and the whole time I was thinkin, this is total bullshit. Parents can totally learn how to do this correctly, acquire the proper tools, and do it at home. 

My dad was my doctor when I was a kid. He was a total fuckin asshole abuser. But he was smart and questioned authority a lot. Even though he was and is a total fuckin asshole who will always eat my shit, he gave me a couple a tools to be the anarchist feminist anti-racist asshole that I am today. I'm not a child and spouse abuser. I'm just a proud as fuck ASSHOLE. Don't you ever doubt it. 

You can call me arrogant. I call me confident. It's cool.

When I was in college, I worked for an institutional review board at NYU hospital. IRB they call it. It was an office job. I was studyin humanities, Africana studies and Politics to be exact. Double major, bitches. I had an office job where I filed a bunch a shit, listened to dumbass pop music on the radio (Britney Spears and white boi bands were gettin popular at this time, it was the late 90s, I didn't choose the station), and updated date formats in their digital database because Y2K. I looked at those medical studies. It was a boring job. I had to do something to keep my mind going. I looked at those medical studies and realized that most of them were not based on truth, they weren't based on anything but hunches, feelings, maybes, ideas; ideas that were sometimes wrong. And ideas, hunches, maybes that sometimes turned into facts. 

The NYU hospital, as can be expected, was a beautiful space. The office where I worked was across the street in the basement. It was shitty. But the hospital was grand, smelled fresh and clean, lots of windows, a nice place to heal, or stay when yr sick. Occasionally, my job involved running deliveries to the VA hospital a few blocks down. It's a hospital that cares for women and men who fought in wars so that we don't have to. It smelled like dirty ass. That is not a joke. It smelled like dirty ass. It was called Bellevue, which just sounds way too much like the place you go when yr mind is not right. It was not fresh and clean. There were not giant floor to ceiling windows. There was not much natural light. It smelled like dirty ass, remember.

Let me just interrupt myself right here. Veterans are the one group of people who should be treated like royalty when they return home. Government officials should be kissing the asses of these veterans, payin them much money, and makin sure they are well cared for the rest of their lives. Set up for the rest of their lives. Anything less is deplorable. Obviously our country is a failure.

It smelled bad, too low fake light, confusing hallways; it was difficult to find my way around this Veterans Affairs hospital. Veterans are treated like stinky, dirty ass. Shove em in a corner, call it a hospital, and forget about em. No one gives a shit anyway. 

Women and men put themselves on the front lines for amerikkka because we tell you we need you and then we tell you what to do how to fight, and then when you come back, often with PTSD, we say, suck it up fuckers. 

Women and men who put themselves on amerikkkan front lines, and we just say, fuck you, get a dog.

PTSD dogs are real as fuck. But really? We just say fuck off deal with it suck it up, but we have no fucking clue what war is like. 

Scratch that. Privileged assholes who grow up with enough money to live on a safe street in a safe town have no fucking clue what war is like. But there are plenty of places in amerikkka where mostly people of color live something similar. And we say fuck off suck it up don't call me a white boi or I'll cry. 

Change is a comin and it's not gonna be what you think. I'm not totally sure what it will be like either, but it's not gonna be white supremacy as usual. 

Later, when I got to graduate school at Indiana University, I had to work with the IRB as a humanities scholar in charge of my own research study. I came to Detroit in 2008, interviewed a lot of brilliant people, and they signed my IRB can I record and quote you form. Then, in fall 2010, the IU IRB tried to compromise my study by tellin me I was recruiting subjects unethically via the internet. I proved them wrong with little effort, but those bitches almost made me have to repeat interviews. Gold and platinum interviews with geniuses that were one, two, three hours long. Did I mention those interviews were with Detroiters? You think Detroiters would be redoing interviews with some white kid from Indiana? Fuck no. 

I'm in charge a my shit. And it's called confidence when you run your shit.



Racism and Sexism Are Abuse, And Our Abusers Are Blank Minded Assholes

Racism and Sexism Are Abuse, And Our Abusers Are Blank Minded Assholes

when yr a cis chick who wants dick

when yr a cis chick who wants dick